Keys to Social Networking #2

“How to create Raving Fans and Core Advocates”

The Law of Reciprocity as an over arching philosophy and paradigm to networking.

  1. Our philosophy on the purpose of networking
  2. 2 Deep.  Not everyone is an ideal client but they know your ideal client.
  3. How to create trust and loyalty
  4. Acres of Diamonds in your own backyard.
  5. The methods may change but the philosophy and paradigm need to remain the same.
  6. How does my effort turn into reward?


Our philosophy on the purpose of networking-The purpose of networking is to reach out into the vast space of your reachable outer circle and effectively earn, attract and sustain a strong group in your inner circle and an engaged group in your outer circle.  The inner circle will be those that are raving fans and core advocates.  For these individuals, you wisely allocate a portion of your precious time to roll out the red carpet.

“The world is changing, advertising is changing, marketing is changing and perception is changing.  The new currency is Genuine, authentic likeability and trust that is validated by public peer confirmation.”

It is of critical importance that we are constantly becoming the individual and company that the above paragraph describes.

Although it is possible and certainly welcome when it happens, the purpose of networking is not to sell to the person you are trying to connect with.  If that becomes our primary focus, our self-interest will construct a barrier between us and the connection and they become a wounded avoider.  We will then experience the all too familiar process of not getting our emails, texts and calls answered.  This drives people away from our inner circle and sometimes even out of the outer circle.

2 Deep.  Not everyone is an ideal client but they know your ideal client-If you connect properly with the person in front of you, you receive the best of both worlds.  If they are a potential client you won them over.  If they are not a potential client, you earned a warm introduction to their sphere of influence.  Adversely, if you do not connect well with the person in front of you because you were looking to meet your needs to close a sale, they certainly will not become a client and they definitely will not recommend you to their sphere of influence.  Even if you manage to earn some amount of business by tactics, pressure and the traditional sales process, you most likely will not have a raving fan and a core advocate.

How to create trust and loyalty

  1. At the very moment that you are in front of someone, there isn’t anyone or anything more important than the person in front of you.  Be in the moment.  Keep your thoughts in the moment.  Don’t worry about where the conversation goes.  Listen intently to hear what is being said and what is not being said.  Give every minute to the other person in the hopes that you will uncover common ground.  This begins the process of trust.  Do not move on to step 2 until and unless they have given you genuine and honest permission.
  2. Briefly tell your story as it relates and applies to them.  Discuss 1 or 2 points that they mentioned that you could relate to.  At this point, you can tell if they care or do not care about listening to you.  If they care and they give you permission again, move on and extend to them your sincere desire to add value to them.  Make it clear to them that you would like to get together over coffee or ?? and get to know them better.  If step 1 &2 went well, this is an automatic 100% yes.  If they were not showing interest and intent to listen, do not make empty promises to get together or to further the communication.  Let them know that you enjoyed learning about them and ask them to contact you if there is ever anything you can do for them.  Absolutely do not talk about your business because they did not give you permission to.  “I can feel some of you cringing : )”
  3. If you were given permission to go to step 3, now you can tell them how some of your solutions might help with some of their pain.  The key in step 1 is to allow them the floor to feel comfortable about discussing their pain.

Acres of Diamonds in your own backyard-We all need to understand that changing groups, programs and environments is not always the answer.  To truly build success in networking, we have to take responsibility for the network.  We have to grow and mine opportunities through participation.  Strategically align with the right groups and take ownership by growing the group, being positive and branding yourself effectively.

The methods may change but the philosophy and paradigm need to remain the same-The methods may change in different environments, such as live events, facebook, twitter, linked in and one on one meet and greets.  The philosophy and paradigm stays the same.  People will buy from whom they like, trust and can depend on.  We have to remain congruent all across the board.  Our thoughts, words, actions and vision absolutely must line up for us to have influence and that needs to be evident in all areas.

How does my effort turn into reward?-Through our application of the Law of Reciprocity and our commitment to give first, give big and give consistently to those we have connected with, we will create raving fans and core advocates.  If at any point, we begin to ask the question, “When is this going to return to me?” we need to be reminded that it will return when we remove the question as to the validity of the law.  True belief is knowing without a doubt that if I drop a pen it will fall to the next hard surface because I believe in the Law of Gravity.  Such is the Law of Reciprocity that if I truly care about others first, I do not need to wonder or hope for my return, I just know that the law is at work and it will deliver at a minimum, Appropriate Proportionate Exchange.  My inner circle of raving fans and core advocates have my back and I have theirs.

Brett Audio File on Keys to Networking

**I want to also give a special thanks to Amy Compton from Alpine Mortgage Planning for stepping up to the plate and delivering tremendous value on the subject as well.


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